Why is it that as men we are usually willing to lend a helping hand to whoever and whenever but it can at times be so difficult to ask for help ourselves? At the ripe mid age of 33, I’ve now thrown my back out three times. So speaking from experience let me say, it's humbling to ask for help! In great pain my first reaction is typically to press on and work through the pain. After all, I’m a man and I have a job to do. I’ve even been dumb enough to press on and cause even greater damage to my body in hopes that my pride won’t take a hit. I will accomplish it or die trying.
Like most men, I’ve been able to fake it on the outside many times while there is often a mental and spiritual battle that is taking place on the inside. Perhaps you have had similar thoughts: I should be able to handle this. This problem is meaningless to God, he has bigger things to worry about. Should I talk to someone about this…I just don’t want to burden anyone else with my issues. The problem with this mindset is it drives us to isolation and although that sounds nice at times, when doing this we are missing part of God’s design. Throughout scripture it is clear to see that God wants us to acknowledge our needs, not hide from them or pretend we've got it under control. We are not only free and encouraged to seek help but COMMANDED to do so!
Here are 3 gospel truths I’ve found helpful in softening my own heart in this daily struggle:
1. God’s Design: Often we neglect to ask or receive help out of fear that it admits failure. But God created us with a need for help. Even before the fall, God created Adam to receive provision and help rather than be self-sufficient. Materially, God provided all of Adam’s food and water, even his breath. God also provided fellowship for Adam through His own presence. But God also created Adam with a need for help from another person. He created Eve with this purpose in mind. Genesis 2:18 It is not good for man to be alone; I will make for him a helper suitable for him. Again, even before sin came into the world, it was God’s design for us to need help and give help to each other. This means our seeking for help is not shameful or equal to failure. God designed us with a need from the beginning. And from the beginning he started fulfilling that need.
2. Blessing others: Sometimes we avoid seeking help in fear that it will burden others. This thought process also forgets the way God has created us as a body of believers. God wants us to help each other in times of struggle and sin. Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens,and so fulfill the law of Christ. When you ask someone for help, you are giving them an opportunity to serve God and share the love of Chris with you. We also see in scripture that God created each of us in the body with different strengths. When we find our weakness in one area and call on someone else who is strong for help, we are giving them the ability to exercise their God-given gifts. By asking for help we are honoring God’s purpose in gifting us differently and honoring each other by encouraging the use of these gifts.
3. Acknowledging our need and God’s grace: We’ve established that asking for help does not automatically equate to failure, but the fact is we do fail and we are weak. God never shames us for admitting this truth. Rather, His desire is that we would cry out, turn to, and find our sufficiency in Him. (“I won’t admit my weakness. I won’t ask for help.” Sounds more like rebellion than it does submission.) 2 Corinthians 2:12 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. God longs to meet our needs. It just simply is not possible that God intends for us to “push through” without calling on His grace and compassion. He is our father, raising us as children, providing for every need. He is the husband of the bride (us) providing loving care and overflowing with affection. He is our deliverer, saving us from sin and destruction. He is our hiding place, our strong tower, our refuge, our good shepherd, our savior.
We are by God’s design called to be in community with one another, to encourage, challenge, and bear burdens with one another. Take freedom in God’s design for us to need help and honor Him in asking for it.
Written By: Jordan Hampton
