FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT… or ...LIVE FAITHFULLY UNTIL IT BECOMES WHO YOU ARE?
“Fake it till you make it” is usually tossed around as casual advice—something people say when confidence is low and you’re trying to grow into a role. At first glance, it can sound shallow, even deceptive. And historically, that concern is valid.
The phrase gained traction in the 1970s, particularly through the rise of the self-help culture. In that context, “fake it till you make it” often meant projecting confidence, success, or even enlightenment before it was truly present. The emphasis leaned heavily on external performance—if you acted successful long enough, you would become successful.
While there is some truth there, the approach also carried a darker edge. It could encourage image over integrity or performance over authenticity. In some cases, it subtly promoted the idea that truth is something you manufacture rather than something you receive. Instead of transformation from the inside out, it often became a matter of managing appearances from the outside in.
That version of “faking it” doesn’t align with biblical living. Scripture never calls men to manufacture an identity or present a polished image. In fact, it consistently warns against that kind of deception. A man of God isn’t someone who hides weakness behind a mask - he’s someone who brings his weakness before God and allows it to be transformed.
Yet, if we strip away the distortion, there remains a redeemable principle: you don’t have to wait until something feels natural before you begin living it out. Scripture repeatedly calls men to a high standard - integrity, courage, humility, self-control, sacrificial love. Yet anyone who has tried to live this out knows the gap between calling and current reality can feel wide. You may not feel like a “man of God.” You may feel inconsistent, distracted, or weighed down by past failures. This is where the tension lies: do you wait until you feel righteous to act righteous, or do you act in obedience and trust that transformation will follow? This took me a long time to learn. In fact, up until the last
10-15 years or so, I failed to act in obedience frequently. “Faking it” was the easier way to live but also hindered my walk with God. I never felt good enough or smart enough to “make it”. I still often struggle with those feelings of inadequacy but have learned (and continue learning) that trusting in God and following His lead in my life is better than attempting it on my own.
The biblical pattern is clear - obedience often precedes feeling.
Consider the idea of putting on a new identity. The Bible speaks of “putting on” righteousness, faith, and love. That language is intentional. You don’t wait until you feel patient to act patiently. You choose patience in the moment, even if everything inside you tries to resist. You don’t wait until you feel pure to pursue purity. You take steps toward holiness because it’s who you are called to be.
In that sense, there is a kind of “holy faking” - not hypocrisy, but practiced obedience. Hypocrisy is pretending outwardly while inwardly rejecting truth. But practicing righteousness, even when it feels unnatural, is an act of faith. It says, “God, I trust Your definition of who I am more than my current impulses.”
A man of God isn’t someone who has already mastered everything. He’s someone who consistently chooses alignment with God’s ways, even when it’s uncomfortable - especially when it’s uncomfortable.
Think about courage. Courage is not the absence of fear; it’s acting rightly despite fear. If a man waits until fear disappears before doing what is right, he may never act at all. In this way, courage itself often looks like “faking it” - you step forward with shaky hands, uncertain thoughts, and a pounding heart, but you move anyway. Over time, what once felt forced becomes natural. What once required effort becomes part of your character.
I am continually learning this. I had never planned to lead the Men’s Ministry of Cascades. I went to Chris 4 years ago and suggested to him that we could use something for men. His exact words were “Ok, when do you want to start it?”. I fought it because “I’m not smart enough”, “I don’t have the leadership qualities”, “I’ve never done something like that before”. All the negative thoughts and devil’s lies were telling me to run away. After several conversations, I agreed to do it and now have a great support team that helps make it happen. I continue to grow in this and am now to the point that I enjoy it. I still struggle with the thoughts and fear but have learned to give them over to God to get me through it.
The same is true with your spiritual life. Prayer might feel awkward at first. Reading Scripture might feel dry. Leading your family spiritually might feel intimidating. But if you only engage when you feel inspired, your growth will stall. Consistency builds depth. What starts as discipline becomes desire.
There’s also a deeper truth: your identity in Christ is not something you earn—it’s something you grow into. You are called righteous, not because you’ve perfected righteousness, but because God has declared it over you. Living like a man of God, then, is less about achieving a status and more about walking in one that’s already been given.
This reframes “fake it till you make it” into something healthier: not “pretend until you succeed,” but “live faithfully until it becomes who you are.”
Of course, there is still a danger here. Even in a Christian context, this mindset can become hollow if it’s disconnected from sincerity. God is not interested in empty performance. He sees the heart. If your actions are merely for show, or if you’re trying to impress others while neglecting genuine transformation, then you’ve drifted back into the same trap that the 1970s version often fell into - image without substance.
The difference lies in intention. Are you striving to honor God, even while struggling internally? Or are you trying to appear Godly without surrendering your heart? I’ve done both. The appearance of Godliness leads to emptiness in your heart. Honoring God while struggling, but surrendering your life, is fulfillment in your heart.
One leads to growth. The other leads to spiritual stagnation. A man of God is not defined by perfection, but by direction. He stumbles, but he gets back up. He fails, but he repents. He doesn’t excuse sin, but he also doesn’t let failure define him. He keeps moving forward, choosing obedience again and again. Over time, something remarkable happens. The gap between who you are and who you’re called to be begins to close. The habits you once forced become second nature. The virtues you once imitated become genuine. Your identity and your actions begin to align more fully.
You don’t “make it” in the sense of arriving at perfection—but you grow into a life that increasingly reflects Christ. So if you feel like you’re falling short, don’t retreat. Don’t wait until you feel ready. Step forward in obedience today.
Act with integrity, even if it costs you.
Speak truth, even if your voice shakes.
Choose purity, even when temptation is strong.
Lead with humility, even when pride whispers otherwise.
Love sacrificially, even when it feels inconvenient.
Not because you’ve mastered these things—but because this is who you are becoming in Christ.
Trust that God is going to meet you in that process.
He shapes the man who shows up.
Questions to Ponder:
1. In what areas of your life are you tempted to prioritize appearance over genuine transformation?
2. How can you guard your heart against “performing” righteousness instead of pursuing it sincerely?
3. Where are you waiting to feel ready before acting in obedience? READ THAT AGAIN!!
4. What is one area where you can begin practicing godly character today, even if it feels unnatural?
5. How does understanding your identity in Christ reshape your view of growth and effort?
6. Have you allowed fear, pride, or past failure to keep you from stepping into who God is calling you to be?
7. What practical step can you take this week to close the gap between belief and action?
Written By: Jeff Abner
